Lolita in Japanese

When I read a book, I carry it around with me everywhere so that I can read any time I have a few minutes. Waiting in line at the grocery or the Giant Superstore that I hate with a passion is much less tiresome when I can stand there and read, and has probably saved the life of a cashier or two. Right now, I’m reading Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. I had it out at work the other night, hoping for a minute or two, when a young friend (still a teenager) noticed it.

“Do you know what Lolita means in Japanese?” he asked.

Was it something I was unaware of? I’d bite: “What?”

“It means being a pervert for little girls!” he said. 

I shrugged. “Yeah, that’s what it means everywhere. It’s pretty much universal.”

He seemed a little alarmed. “Then why are  you reading it?”

I was amused. “Because I never have. It’s classic literature, like War and Peace …”

His face registered no recognition.

“… or a Tale of Two Cities …”

“I’ve heard of that one,” he said.

“Oh. Good.” 

 

I shudder to think what they're not teaching kids in school these days.

The Second Duchess by Elizabeth Loupas

My friend, Elizabeth Loupas', little Beagle, Cressie, was seriously injured this week, playing in her own back yard. When Elizabeth told us about it on Facebook, it reminded me to get over to her blog (I am sooooo bad about making the rounds!) to find out what happened. Poor little Cressie. Elizabeth was never able to figure it out. However, while I was there, I was also reminded to update you on the progress of her forthcoming book, The Second Duchess. It was due to come out in January, but for a mysterious reason, the date was pushed back to March 1. It is already garnering excellent reviews, as I knew all along that it would. Here's one from Publisher's Weekly, which is the Bible of the publishing business: 

The Second Duchess
Elizabeth Loupas, NAL, $15 trade paper (368p) ISBN 978-0-451-23215-1
Robert Browning’s classic poem “My Last Duchess” provides the starting point for Loupas’s winning debut set in Renaissance Italy. Barbara of Austria, the virgin bride of Alfonso d’Este, the fifth and last Borgia duke of Ferrara, has heard rumors that Alfonso murdered his first wife, but by marrying the duke she has escaped the convent as well as her controlling brother, Maximilian II. “Banquets and music, dancing and fashion, loving and loathing–everything is an art in Ferrara,” one of the duke’s sisters tells Barbara, who must carefully maneuver around the gossip about her predecessor, gossip that the duke has forbidden, as she seeks to establish herself at court. Meanwhile, spies lurk around every corner, ready to besmirch her reputation and standing. Readers will warm immediately to the clever, intelligent Barbara, while the demanding, sometimes brutal, Alfonso makes an intriguing man of mystery.

And here's another from Joseph - Beth Booksellers. Bookstores get to read advance copies of everything coming out so they'll know what to buy, and what to put on the front and center table of the bookstore.



The Second Duchess, by Elizabeth Loupas (9780451232151, 3/1/2011.)

Barbara of Austria comes to the Duke d’Este as his second wife and is immediately confronted by whispers and insinuations about her predecessor. Did her new husband really murder his first wife? The proud Hapsburg wife attempts to solve the mystery, while the ghost of the previous duchess observes and comments on her efforts. A charming riff on Robert Browning’s poem “My Last Duchess.”
Jennie Turner-Collins
Joseph Beth Booksellers, Cincinnati

And even more good news! The Second Duchess got a book club deal! She has been selected as a featured alternate for the Literary Guild, the Mystery Guild, the Doubleday Book Club, and the Book of the Month Club Online.


There are two more bits of news: Elizabeth (or Elisabetta, as I like to call her) is arranging a combination book-launch party and beagle adoption event at Murder by the Book in Houston. She adopted both of her dogs from Houston Beagle and Hound Rescue, so if you live in that area, you might want to mark your calendar for that. When she gives me a firm date, I'll pass it on to you. 

Secondly, there's a possibility that she'll be in Nashville in August for a writer's conference (Killer Nashville), and with any kind of luck, maybe she'll arrange a book signing there, too. I'm definitely asking for time off work to attend, if she does that. Gina-re, make up the sofa for me! 

One last tidbit here, if you've ever wondered about the publishing process, about how a manuscript becomes a book, just follow along in Elisabetta's blog.

An imperial archduchess, a Medici princess, and the last Borgia duke—intrigue, passion and murder at the glittering Renaissance court of Ferrara. The Second Duchess is now available for pre-order at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders, Powell's, Books-a-Million, and of course your favorite indie bookstore. In Memphis, please buy from Burke's Books at 936 South Cooper in Midtown!

Instant Turkey

In the kitchen, the general Rule of Thumb is, When in doubt, throw it out. As I cut open the plastic on my turkey this year (a 20 pound Butterball), believe me, there was no doubt. I pinched my nose and backed away quickly. Everything else was prepped. The celery, onion, sausage, and water chestnuts were ready to be added to the bread cubes for the dressing. The sweet potatoes were already topped with their marshmallows. The corn was creamed, the red peppers and green onions were sliced for the beans, and the cranberry sauce was chilled. So I grabbed my purse and headed out to find a turkey substitute. 

When I think back on it, it's pretty amazing, really. I looked in the turkey section of the meat counter. Legs, breasts, and ground turkey were the only options. Nothing that would produce the drippings needed for gravy. I turned around. A lot of the freezer section was blocked off by items being readied for Black Friday. I peeked between two stacks that were at least nine feet high, and Oh, Happy Day, there were two bags that read Freezer to Oven * No Thawing * Oven Ready Jennie O Homestyle Turkey. I'd never seen one before. And it happened just that quick.

It was expensive, costing $19 for a twelve pound turkey.

I think the reason this turkey can be cooked frozen is because it comes in a cooking bag that steams it. You put it in your roasting pan, cut six 1/2 inch holes in the bag, and pop it in a 375 degree oven. It comes with a popup timer hidden in there somewhere, but it's been my experience that with most of those turkeys that have the popup timer, by the time it pops up, the turkey is already over-cooked and dry. So I check often. I pull on the leg to see if it breaks away easily. I couldn't pull on the leg of this one because it was in the bag. I also couldn't see through the bag in order to find the little timer once it became spattered by the juices. So I stuck a meat thermometer in, and it was done. 

You have to let the bag sit for a few minutes if you don't want a steam burn. When I finally split it open, the turkey was brown on top, but the sides were still as white as if it hadn't been cooked at all. Not very appetizing. I looked for the timer, but couldn't find it. And the breasts looked as flat as my grandma's. 

That's when I realized I had cooked the thing upside down.  

So I flipped it over (yes, the timer had popped). Again, the turkey was brown on top (although not crispy), but white on the sides. The legs looked like they had been skinned from halfway down, and they had stuck to the bag, so when I pulled it free, part of them were left behind. 

Here's the picture Jennie O uses on their website:

Here's the reality:

With all this said, now I will add that the turkey was delicious. It was well-seasoned and moist, and probably one of the better turkeys I've ever eaten. I would definitely buy it again, but not for a dinner when company was coming, except in an emergency. 

It also comes with a small bag of gravy, but I have never liked the gravy that comes with a turkey. It usually tastes too much like the giblets (there were no giblets in this turkey, by the way, in case that's important to you). I also don't like turkey gravy from jars or powdered mixes. I make mine with drippings and corn starch. The gravy that came with the Jennie O turkey tasted like it had been made from a vegetable stock, including onions, celery, and carrots. My guests also preferred my gravy.

Jennie O's gravy:

My gravy:

I have never been a huge fan of cranberry sauce. As a kid, I wouldn't eat it. As an adult, after a certain number of cranberry juice-based cocktails, I acquired more of a taste for it, but it was still something I could take or leave. However, now I have found a recipe for cranberry sauce that I will make every year, and probably many other times throughout the year.  It's a cranberry-pear-walnut-brandy sauce that someone entered in a competition, and if it wasn't the winner (I have no idea), then it was a travesty because it is one of the best things ever put on a Thanksgiving feast table! 

It's described as all silk and fragrance, and that's true. 

It's not something you can serve to recovering alcoholics, but practicing boozers will snarf it up in a hurry. This stuff is Y-U-M-M-Y. I can picture having it with a pork loin, as well. It tastes just as nice warm, too. I'd pay good money for a cookbook written by Amanda and Merrill if their cranberry sauce is an indication of how all the other recipes would turn out. Try this one at home! (Please let me know if the link becomes broken.)


UPDATE: The cranberry sauce did win the competition. I'm not sure who Amanda and Merrill are. The cook who created the sauce is here. And her blog is here.